God help us all......

Can you believe it? I sure can, the NCO's of the Army never cease to amaze me, in yet another stuggle to fuck the soldier. I will say this, while they fuck the American soldier, they love to stroke some KATUSA Cock. Get this:

I made up a training schedule that placed me as the primary instructor and another American soldier as the alternate (my young padawan soldier-with whom the force grows stronger in every day). I made this training schedule very carefully for 3 purposes.

1. To optimize who is conducting training, and the frequency of when they conduct it. This is because, while I personally love to teach soldiers how to do the job, most soldiers hate to teach because of lack of experience or lack of time. Especially the KATUSAs because they are lazy fucking koreans.
2. To train someone to eventually be able to take my place when I leave. When I'm gone, I'm gone. And I'll be rolling up blunts while I work as a Civilian and laughing at the Army.
3. To Ensure that soldier either hear complete Korenglish, or English. Koreanglish is the language of koreans when they speak to amricans. Although taught otherwise, Koreans like to use a huge amount of slang conjunctions, and frequently spit out fragmented sentences that lack prepositions, adverbs, and adjectives and correct punctuational communication. While normal english speakers steer away from using slang as part of their speaking when teaching a class. If both are used together, this creates what I see as a confusing environment, and is a detriment to learning.

But We all know that the ideas and opinions of junior-enlisted soldiers don't matter, because no matter how well-trained and certified I am in the subject- because of what's on my collar, I'm practically a body without a brain. WRONG! I condsider myself to be smarter and more of a critical thinker than at least 97% of the military force. Why? Simply because I allow my brain to conjure possible outcomes, rather than the most common thinking devices:

1. A penis
2. A piece of metal signifying rank
3. Fear
4. Intimidation

But hey, once again, in the Army the only shit that matters is who's rank is bigger. It's a continual "My cock is bigger than yours" contest.

Yeah, like I'm going to give up without a fight. I'm 84% crunk dammit! That's pretty fuckin' crunk for a white guy that listens to European metal.

So what happened is this. They changed the schedule on it to make a KATUSA CPL (e-4, same rank as me, not considered to be an NCO. Also KATUSA CPL's are normally in the army for no more than 1.5 years at the time or CPL promotion, I've been in for over 3 years) the primary instructor, and me the secondary. The topic of the class is something I'm certified (on paper) for by not only the army, but the civilian world as well. I also have a full year experience working in this field directly at an extremely high level. The KATUSA has no experience in this, no idea how to create a class like this, no concept of what it is, and absolutely no credentials whatsoever.

Yet I was made the secondary instructor. I was made to create a class, teach it, and have him take all of the credit for it. Fuck that shit. Not gonna happen today. Instead, CPL Ican'tpronouncetheletter"l" (name thing) is getting an email from me with the appropriate regulations required to do the training, and a happy little english and fact review by me and that's it. They want to let someone else take credit for my hard work and sacrifice? Fuck that, and fuck them. And I'll take this shit out on the KATUSA who will fail, so that the cadre see how fucked up this shit is. There is only one way that any e-4 and below can punish those above them. Look like your trying, and fail miserably, then point the finger to the NCO. The NCO that is directly above me is not at fault here. I personally believe it's the assbag above him. This fucker is amazingly RETARTED! He's almost so fucking stupid that he reaps rewards from those below him. He likes to get lazy on some shit, then work for his own personal gain, and lie to his soldiers about how he saved the day.

Yeah right, I've been in long enough to x-ray view that bullshit. Why do motherfuckers insist that I destroy them? I don't get it. All I want to ever fucking do, is do a damn good job, and go the fuck home on time to play my games online. Is that too much to ask? Am I not putting forth enough effort to make shit happen?

Obviously not, because the email I sent back has been read, just not answered. But believe me, If I feel insulted, I don't give a fuck who you are, you're going to hear about what I think you're doing, whether you want to hear it or not. The job will get done, and it will get done right, but you'll get that earfull of what I think about you and your douschebaggery.

Other than that, I'm tired as fuck.

This is my rifle...

And I must keep my gun in my pants. Seriously! I can do it. I am involved in a comitted relationship and don't need the extra aggravation. What makes it really hard is that she is in Germany and I am in Korea (ugh). A brotha like me needs to get in some guts! Self Control, Bigger. Self-Control. I need a Dew! You have to be wary of a person who drinks mountain dew to CALM DOWN. Why am I so amped? It's because of jealous and envious people otherwise known as "haters". These "haters", if you will, can't get a piece of ass on their own so they got to throw salt on my game. Hell I dont have much "game" as it is, I don't need any help fucking up. (What do you expect from an IT guy?)

So I hook-up with a chick I zoned a while back. I zoned her cause I had a girl, she had a man, and I dont want to be trapped in no closet. So of course in the Army people can't keep their mouths shut and stay in their fucking lane. So a Sergeant (we'll call him SGT Slapnutz) likes the girl I convieniently zoned. He gets jealous and then spreads rumors about the situation and now I'm in danger of losing both females. So now I'm an asshole, jerk, or whatever fucked up title they decide to give me. I'll say it again. I'm a computer geek, that's impossible. I'm just a lucky guy who has extra to offer to the table besides for a big dick, but only for a female that can appreciate it. A grown-ass man, your typical smooth, tall, dark, and handsome black guy had to cockblock a computer geek. What the fuck is the world coming to!

Only in Korea...

...will the large size McDonalds soda be the same as a small pop in the States.
...will dangerous things only happen between the hours of 1am-5am on weekends and Midnigh-5am on weekdays.
...will they laugh when they see that they fucked up and I'm about to bayonet they ass (I know, I know, I broke the gamer's rule)
...will I get my cock scoped on a weekly basis
...will I be outranked by someone with only 14 months time in service (CPL Complainingbitch this is for you!)

Things that restore sanity

I want this to be slightly interactive, Please post up comments, and I will add it to the blog.

This is to be a collection of things that would help restore sanity to you, when a rough day occurs.

1. That first cigarette in the morning.
2. Morning Wood (with your naked girlfriend waking up next to you)
3. Watching a Fat guy do something clumsy that exposes the blubber beneath.
4. Watching 2 5-year old little boys try to beat each other up (power ranger style)
5. The tv show "Cops"
6. Playing any of the Grand Theft Auto games
7. Logging on to a game that allows Player vs. Player, and molly-whopping the shit out of someone.
8. Viewing The Official Ninja Site
9. Taking naps at work and not getting busted.
10. Finding something you lost.
11. Buying something you don't need, but it's just really damn useful.
12. Eating a chick out, and watching her squirm because she likes it.
13. Remebering 1 thing:



14. From StevieB - start laughing loudly even if you are alone. at nothing. its takes a few moments but after awhile it works.
15. From Åñèè§å: well whenever I fell down or i'm mad....I take a drive with myself play the music really loud and just think....it helps to drive as fast as possible....not a very smart thing...but it does the trick

Obi-wan Kenobi, and other crackwhore myths

First off, I wrote a poem today:

Here I sit, all broken-hearted
Had to shit, but only farted
Pulled up my pants and walked away,
But I'll live to shit another day

Beauty, I think I'm gonna cry.

I think right now, I'm going to talk about the annoying shit that Koreans do. Seriously, these mother fuckers have literally no idea how to act. I was pissing in a subway bathroom a few weeks ago, on my way to see my friend Mingkyeong. I'm go in there, claim my toilet, whip my junk out, and let the river flow. Meanwhile, some old-ass mother fucker decided that he wanted to take a tiny peek. I noticed him taking more than a little peek, this dude was fucking staring at my wang! I moved closer to the toilet, even though I really didn't want to (fucking diseased like that anonymous blog troll's mom's snatch) and lo-and behold the mother fucker on the left side was doing the same shit. I'm aware of the order of the size of the penis, and I'm aware that 9.9 out of 10 my dick is going to be bigger than every asian alive, but fuck, leave that wonder to the women. Seriously, that has got to be the queerest thing ever.

Another thing Koreans like to do is bullshit alot. This country has to be comprised of the largest set of bullshitters alive. When I got in-country, I recieved a culture briefing about the way that people act around here. I was told "Koreans don't really pay much attention to time, unless it's close of business" That has got to be the truest explination I've heard about Koreans to date. For example: I go on a mission with a Korean Nation US Government employee. We do what we have to do to accomplish the mission and then eat before hitting the road again. Well this bastard wants to take a nap in the vehicle BEFORE we roll out. Not while I'm on the road, but before we roll out. Sorry pops, Don't got time for that shit, wake your punk-ass up.

We have what are called KATUSA soldiers that work with us. KATUSA's are soldiers from the korean army, that work in American units. For them, it's a privilage and a vaction to work in the U.S. Army, instead of the ROK army becuase the ROK army puts them in shitty barracks, makes them work twice as hard, and they get no formal job training. So to them, they should be doing their damndest to work hard in the U.S. Army to stay, because it's a privilage to get away from the bullshit. So get this, this one KATUSA Corporal, whose name is CPL Complainingbitch (name change thing) has a few problems with discipline. Normally, in the army, if you're told to do something as a private, you don't ask, you execute. If you're a Corporal, you might make a suggestion to improve the way things are done, to make the work flow a little easier, or quicker, or both. At no point should you ever question "why did you ask me to do this?" before doing the requested task, afterwards is fine, but never before. The only time you should question it before you complete the task, is if it is blatently obvious that you have repeated that task several times, and no one else has been chosen to do it (provided they've had the opportunity). My NCO and I work very close, as I am soon about to take his place, and run this section. He delegates power to me sometimes, to save time for himself and his busy schedule. I then execute to the best of my ability to ensure that the task gets done, which may mean even more sub-delegation. So I get told to find someone to do training this week. I pick CPL Complainingbitch.

Then he proceeds to ask "Why you pick me?"

I tell him, "because we rotate who is to do training, and you are the only one not on the schedule".

Then he says, "I don't unnastant (korean broken "engrish") why you onry pick KATUSA Sodier to do detair (detail)"

Then I tell him, "I picked you because, everyone but you is on the schedule, it's your turn to do the damn training, so stop fucking asking questions and spitting out fabricated points of view, and create the fucking training"

The he tells me "I get offended when you yerr (yell)"

So I tell him, "Good. You're supposed to get offended. Maybe if you don't want me to yell, you'll stop questioning me"

Then he said some shit that sounded like this "blah blah sheevalom no sheeva blah blah"

I don't know much korean, but I do know that "sheevalom" means "Mother fucker" and "no sheeva" means "Fuck you". So I had to say something.

Me: What the fuck did you just say to me?

Him: I said nothing

Me: No, that's bullshit, you need to stop thinking that I don't understand what you're saying when you say "Fuck you, mother fucker" to me.

Him: I didn't say that

Me: In english, no. In Korean, yes

Him: I don't rike (like) you cuss at me

Me: I gives a shit what you like, fucker. You ever say "fuck you, mother fucker" in korean around me again, and I'm going to gouge out your eyes and skullfuck you, and send you back to YOUR fucking army, because I sure don't need a shitbag like you augmented to my fucking section. Do the fucking training, and stop your bitching, you little girl.

Now see, I gave this guy the benefit of the doubt first. I even explained to him that it was his turn, when I really didn't have to. So why the fuck did he have to do and piss me off? Because he's a korean, and I've established that at least 75% of KATUSA's and Korean Nationals that work for the American Government, are lazy as fuck, and will do anything to avoid work. They act like I have a choice to be here. They act like I want to be in this fucking country. They act like it's my born responsability to solely defend thier country. I would only defend South Korea because I was ordered to by an American officer with instructions to do so. I could care less about the welfare of these people. The biggest problem I have with them is their lack of respect for my culture. I respect theirs, I'm not half as loud and obnoxious as I was back in the states. I overlook alot of shit on the road that would normally make me want to blow a mother fucker's head off. And I do my best to ignore the looks of contempt I get while I'm spending good money on THEIR economy. Plus for some odd reason my damned roomate (who is a KATUSA) continues to turn the air conditioning off, when it's no less than 100% humidity ALL OF THE TIME, and normally above 90 Degrees for most of the day. If he wants to dehydrate and sweat all night long, that's his problem, pile 10 blankets on. But don't touch my fucking AC dammit.

Ugh, fucking Koreans, we should just pull out of this country and let them all kill each other. They don't want us here anyway.

Owned me, huh?

This Anonymous 12-year-old (I'm assuming he's twelve because no self-respecting adult would troll blogs like this) that has been putting up insulting posts is a laughable character. He has stated that he's "owned" me. Which is quite amusing, if I do say so myself. Now that I have this little boy's mommy and daddy's IP address, MAC address, and operating system type, I think I'll make a swift example out of the little shit. So little "owner" buddy, first I'm going to use the NETCAT program to access your outside IP address. Should you have any kind of NAT router, I'll come through default port 80 and open up a few random UDP and TCP ports. Then I'll scan your network for machines. When I find a machine, I'll hash your registry keyed password use the l0phtcr4ck program to guess your password, then when it's found it in about 10 seconds of the permutation roll, I'll use NETCAT again to log in, set up a root hint, and set up a remote descktop software program. Then I'll strike you out of the administrator, place myself as the administrator, then proceed to purge every ounce of data on your machine. I really hope you have a playstation or xbox connected. That will be even more fun to miscode a firmware update then load it, and watch you cry to mommy because your shit's broken.

So once again, you anonymous pussy, fuck you. You aren't even worthy to be called "owned", you're fucking pwned. Bitch ass, motherfucker. This is an adult's world, little boy. Don't think I wouldn't slaughter you in an instant if I wanted to take leave, fly to america, pinpoint IP-GPS scan your location, and pull you off of the bus to send you to Neverland Ranch.

And one more afterthought. You like to call us "illiterate pieces of trash" when you can't even capitalize the first word of a sentance.........TWICE IN A FUCKING ROW. What a joke. Send in the next bitch for me to dominate!

Exercise, Exercise

Great the start of ANOTHER excercise. I cant really complain cause this is where i make my rep. I just finished the duty driver from hell. From about 1000 to about 1430 i was doing crappy yardwork in blistering heat. The only reason I stopped then cause I had to take a shit and fell asleep on the shitter. LOL. I woke up it was 1630 and they had others doing the work. First death scare of the week. I couldnt feel my legs. It took me like 15 minutes to be able to walk again. Didnt sleep till 1, got woke up at 2. sleep again at 245 woke up again at 4. In between my battle was having problems with his girlfriend\friend\whatever the fuck she is. He was like what should I do. I said zone her ass. He was like whats that? I was like your being too nice. She had an engagement with you tonight, she broke it. Friend-zone her ass. "I dont want to be her friend!!!" Dude just do it trust me.

Fucker didnt listen. So he calls me down to his room and I'm seeing what is transpiring on the IM. I was like you got like 10 minutes to zone her ass. "But she already said I'm her boyfriend!!" Look my friend A womans mind is cleaner than ours for one reason: They change it all the time. "But"
5 minutes...
4 minutes...
For the love of god zone her ass. If you dont she can zone you. If you do since you already made physical contact, she will either realize where shes fucking up or just come out and say she not interested.
"But shes already my girlfriend"
Youve known her for a week. 2 minutes.
GF: I think we moved to fast.
Guy: Nonsensical jabber
GF: I think we should just be friends.
Guy: But I thought...
GF: I have commitment issues... Gibberish... I'm not a good GF... More blah.
Guy: ... um well
ME: Told you to zone her ass. Now shes in the drivers seat.
Look just tell her some sarcastic shit. Like damn I aint trying to marry you, I just want to kick it. Play it like you dont need her ass.

He finally listened to me when he realized that its pretty much over. Shes out there looking for the bigger, better deal. With females like that you pretty much have to be an asshole to. I hate doing it myself but it is totally necessary. Even with my current girlfriend. I met her April last year. We didnt start dating until July. Why? I zoned her ass. It was totally on accident at the time of course. But I realized that whatever she did or didnt do would be a product of my actions. It probably would have tore me up if it happened the other way. Just think about it. She zones me. I go with it. She makes it sound like one day I will be with her...but in reality she's now filed me away in the friend zone to conveniently play the role of "boyfriend without intimacy". So I am literally dating her without ever getting any further than friendship.

And whats truly awesome is I get to watch her flirt, date, and immediately hook up with other guys...while wondering why she doesn't be "friends first" with them. AND...she'll be calling me when she needs a shoulder to cry on and/or be an escort to things her "quick hookup bf" refused to do. That shit right there would piss anyone off.

Or Zone her ass. Risky as hell for sure but if its supposed to work out it will. And if it dont then at least he has a cute drinking buddy that will help him pull more women. Seems like a win-win to me.

Just one of those days......

In the military we have this barbaric ritual where the leaders think it might be a good idea to wake soldiers up at the asscrack of dawn (0400 hrs, 4:00 AM) to stand in a straight line, and listen to a 4 ft. tall lady scream about something that had absolutely nothing to do with you, then you get to work for the next 17 hours........

This ritual is known as an "Alert". The original purpose of the military alert was to have soldiers come outside, recieve a briefing about what has happened and why they are there so early, and then release them to eat breakfast and prepare to fight.

We have what is called an exercise. In this excercise everyone of the rank Captain and above, and Sargeant Major and above, practice what they would do in a real time battle situation. What do the soldiers, and NCO's (NCO = non-commisioned officer, Rank Corporal - Sargeant Major in the Army) do is basically sit and wait to be given orders (which normally come at the end of a shift because the leaders like to mystically "forget" things every single time). While waiting for some kind of mission to go down, what do the soldiers do? We Train, dammit! On our actual job? Fuck no! We train to fight the evils of weeds growing in between rocks, we fight the grass that is 1/4 in. taller than what some mysterious, non-existant man says it should be. We also fight to make sure that one speck of dust is out of the Commander's Office.

So this "alert" happens yesterday morning, interrupting me from my dreams about reaming the holy hell out of this bartender chick I saw last week at a friends party, and I get out of bed and put on my BDU's (BDU = battle dress uniform. It's the cammo uniform that the army wears), and my full Battle-rattle (battle-rattle is a term coined by the army to indicate wearing a Gas mask, Load-bearing vest, and Kevlar Helmet). So I step outside, and talk to my point of contact with all my gear on. She didn't know what the fuck was going on, big surprise. The reason I didn't have to fall into a dumb-ass formation, is because I was going to be augmented to another unit for the duration of this exercise (lucky me). So I quickly devise a movement plan to get myself and my soldier with all of our equipment over to this remote site that we're working out of. Then I release her for breakfast.

Not bad for a morning. We made good time over to the site, set up our shit, did inventory, and sent a report back, that morning. The rest of the day I trained her in the exqusite art of the network admin. The problems started happening shortly after lunch. I got a call from my supervisor (who I no longer fell under for the duration of the exercise) telling me that the only personnel assigned to this area are me and my soldier. Well, there goes being able to take a break when the exercise kicks off. Ok not too bad, I can deal with that shit, no biggie. Then he calls back and tells me, that I will get another soldier. I'm thinking, "Ok sweet, I get someone to train during any downtime, plus another set of hands to help" All the while my supervisor was supposed to be coming down to my site to ride back in a military vehicle with me (its a rule that they have over here) . He was supposed to be there at 1800 (6:00 PM). Ok so 1800 rolls around, and where the fuck is this dude? Maybe traffic was bad. 1900 rolls around, I'm pissed and this motherfucker finally calls. "Hey new plan, you need to find someone there to come back with" So I grumble and piss and moan for a few minutes, then I devise a plan. Well I found someone to come back with me and my soldier. It was actually 2 people and we would go 2 to a vehicle. Well it turned out that the person going with me was going to stay late. Yay. She said only an hour so I waited an hour, then 2, then 3 and finally got up and asked where she was. I was then told "Well she isn't coming back with you", I almost just picked up and left right there, but some people came in and told me they would ride with me, at the same time the other set of people were changing shift, which did me no good for getting out on time. I ended up gettting home at 10:00 pm, tired, pissed and ready to kill the first motherfucker that popped off at the mouth.

The army likes to wonder why they can't get good soldiers to Re-enlist. I don't have to wonder, I know exactly why. This shit is jacked the fuck up. You have people in the fucking Signal Corps that don't understand the concept of "communicating" to other people. The U.S. Army Signal Corps. is the biggest oxymoron of the fucking century. The army wants people to stay in, yet they do the bullshit like they did to me. What they did to me is basically a forced re-enlistment. I signed up to stay and extra year in korea, which would push me 5 months past the date that I leave the army. I was going to extend only long enough to meet that criteria. Was it good enough for the army to have me an extra 5 months? Fuck no! Give the army 50 cents and they'll beat the shit out of you, take all your money in your wallet, your credit cards, and your momma's picture. They absolutely had to change the window of time I was allowed to extend, farther back so that I would be forced to re-enlist. But wait! I could just kill the request to stay in korea, and keep my original date to leave. Nope! They threw out a big fuck you to everyone and decided not to let soldiers delete the requests. Without notification. I gotta give the army a hand on that one. Nobody has ever been able to fuck me over that bad. Everyone give a hand to the army, come on.

And for their next trick, they'll probably deploy me and involuntarily extend me!

At any rate, I got home, sweaty, disgusting, and smelling like I just fucked for 17 hours in a sauna with a snowsuit on. Gotta love that fresh Korea summer!

The best overall thing they did to me yesterday was say this "Well you belong to *** Company now, they are to augment you as best they can"

Me: "You can't do me a favor and come help me out just this once?"

Them: "You technically aren't our soldier right now, so no"

Me: "Fuck you, you set of shit fucking rat bastards, you can all burn in hell and go fuck yourselves!"

I love my unit! Here I was about to get all mad at them, and what do you know, they pulled a Pontius Pilate on me. How sweet. No wonder I get drunk all the damn time and lose myself in video games, I can't get any work satisfaction.

Well anyway, that's yesterday's story. Hate it or love it.

Introduction and all that good shit...

To officially start this blog off, I'll introduce mysel. Real names have been changed to protect the innocent and even the guilty, and basically so I won't get sued on some privacy protection shit. you can all refer to me as Masocko, or simply The Gamer will also do. I'm 21 at the time of this initial blog, soon to be 22 in a few months. I work as a network tech in the United States Army, stationed in South Korea. My hobbies include MMO gaming, womanizing, clubbing, bar-hopping, sports, playing guitar, and music creation. Being as intellegent as I am, coupled with my severe cynicism of life and the environment around me, as well as my implied quest for satisfaction gained through domination of others, you'll find me highly egotisitical and prideful. My ego is rarely tainted, even when I am wrong. My pride is rarely hurt, even when I've taken mass taunting. Being of a conservative state of mind, I dislike liberals, I don't like to try radical ideas and thinking, I have a narrow view of a woman's place, and I rarely put anyone's personal wants in front of my own.
To sum it all up, I'm an asshole. Purebred, born and raised. So if you post anything thinking you'll change my state of mind, you're poorly mistaken, so don't waste 4 Kb of posting space. If you post a comment that's off topic, it will be deleted. If you post nothing but a bunch of baseless insults, you'll be banned. I have no patience for unbounded criticism. If you choose to use leetchat, that's your choice, however be aware that the second that you replace "you" with "u" or your and you're with "ur". I will target your post and taunt as well as subject you to diminishing criticism. You'll be known as what I call a "retard". I emphasize intellegence, if you present an intellegent suggestion, I'll praise you and try to take you up on it.
The following things will be discussed in my blogs:

The tyranny and slavedriving of soldiers by military supervisory personnel

The lack of intellegence of people in the military

The laziness and lack of work ethic of Korean soldiers augmented to U.S. Command

Exposure of faults of Native Koreans

My personal issues in dealing with rage

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and why it a croc of shit and a horrible excuse

Why women are so kaniving and backstabbing

The stupidity and lack of critical thinking of those around me

General environmental behavior

Gaming crap

*WARNING* This is an official warning to parents. If you don't want your kid exposed to words like: Fuck, shit, ass, titties, pussy, balls, faggot, queer, fudgepacker, cock, amongst others. Be a fucking parent and keep your damn kids away from shit that they shouldn't be hearing, and stop fucking blaming it on Eminem, and Grand Theft Auto.

That's about it for the introductory blog.